Emmys 2014: Déjà vu all over again

The 66th Primetime Emmy Awards hosted by Seth Meyers took place this past Monday night, but you wouldn’t be blamed for having a strange feeling that the only difference from past ceremonies was not airing on its usual Sunday.

Source: giphy.com

Can’t shake off that feeling of déjà vu? Don’t worry, it’s not you; it’s just the Emmys. Here are the staggering stats for this year’s acting winners:

  • Ty Burrell – Supporting Actor in a Comedy, Modern Family
    • 2nd win, 5th consecutive nomination
  • Allison Janney – Supporting Actress in a Comedy, Mom
    • 6th win, 2 wins this year, 8th nomination
  • Jim Parsons – Lead Actor in a Comedy, Big Bang Theory
    • 4th win, 7th nomination (2 noms this year)
  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus – Lead Actress in a Comedy, Veep
    • 3rd consecutive win, 5th career Emmy, 18th nomination
  • Kathy Bates – Supporting Actress in Miniseries/Movie, American Horror Story: Coven
    • 2nd win, 11th nomination
  • Martin Freeman – Supporting Actor in Miniseries/Movie, Sherlock: His Last Vow
    • 1st win, 3rd nomination (2 noms this year)
  • Jessica Lange – Lead Actress in Miniseries/Movie, American Horror Story: Coven
    • 3rd win, 6th nomination
  • Benedict Cumberbatch – Lead Actor in Miniseries/Movie, Sherlock: His Last Vow
    • 1st win, 3rd nomination
  • Aaron Paul – Supporting Actor in a Drama, Breaking Bad
    • 3rd win, 5th nomination
  • Anna Gunn – Supporting Actress in a Drama, Breaking Bad
    • 2nd consecutive win, 3rd nomination
  • Julianna Margulies – Lead Actress in a Drama, The Good Wife
    • 3rd win, 10th nomination
  • Bryan Cranston – Lead Actor in a Drama, Breaking Bad
    • 5th win, 12th nomination
Emmys_2014_Bryan_Cranston

Source: giphy.com

Did you catch that? In series acting, every single winner had won an Emmy before. There were only two first-time Emmy winners in Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman.

Now let’s look at the series winners:

  • The Amazing Race – Outstanding Reality-Competition Series
    • 10th win, 11th nomination [UGHHHHHHHHHH]
  • Fargo – Outstanding Miniseries
    • 1st win, 1st nomination [YAY!]
  • The Colbert Report – Outstanding Variety Series
    • 2nd consecutive and last win, 9th nomination
  • Modern Family – Outstanding Comedy Series
    • 5th consecutive win, 5th nomination [UGHHHHHHHHHH]
  • Breaking Bad – Outstanding Drama Series
    • 2nd consecutive win, 5th nomination [YAY!]

This is not to put down any of the impressive talents of this year’s winners, as there are certainly well-deserved winners in this bunch (well, not you, The Amazing Race). The Emmy voters are broken, sticking with familiar nominees in a brazenly predictable fashion. This voting pattern becomes increasingly frustrating year after year, especially when there are dynamic fresh faces nominated or overlooked perennial nominees. But why do we collectively groan at Jim Parson’s or Ty Burrell and Modern Family‘s wins, but cheer wildly for the wins of Aaron Paul, Anna Gunn, Bryan Cranston, and Breaking Bad? There’s a perceived difference here between voting complacency and voting for excellence.

In its first season, Modern Family was an excellent series, but five years later, it is simply an OK one. Its wins are simply passé and uninspired, surpassed by Veep‘s sharpness and Orange is the New Black‘s audacity. There are clearly more vibrantand funnyseries elsewhere. Breaking Bad, however, is in the pantheon of all-time greatest television shows. As the show progressed, it just kept getting better. Last season’s gut-wrenching “Ozymandias” was one of Breaking Bad‘s, if not television’s, finest hours. It rightfully won Moira Walley-Beckett an Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series and was the submission episode for both Anna Gunn and Bryan Cranston. No one will argue that the Breaking Bad actors were undeserving of an Emmy trophy.

Source: giphy.com

Other Emmys thoughts:

  • Allison Tolman was ROBBED! Seriously and utterly robbed. Tolman was the beating heart within the dark, twisted soul of FX’s Fargo. While not as showy as her fellow scenery-chewing nominees or even Fargo costars, her steadfast and star-making turn as the cool and collected Molly Solverson was such a joy to watch. Damn you, Kathy Bates’ racist severed head!
  • Thank GOD Fargo won Outstanding Miniseries. It was one of my favorite scripted series of the year. Intriguingly off-kilter characters amidst a fantastically rich landscape. It’s a darned shame that series creator Noah Hawley didn’t win for Outstanding Writing.
  • Kudos to Louis C.K. for winning for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series for the Louie episode, “So Did the Fat Lady.” Even more kudos to Louis C.K. for immediately thanking actress Sarah Baker for owning those words.
  • Seth Meyers was a fine, if not memorable, host. I am a huge Seth Meyers fan, but this material wasn’t the sharpest. However, he did excel when riffing off his SNL friend or celebrity audience members who were game for participation.

    Source: giphy.com

  • Sorry HBO, looks like your decision to move True Detective out of Movie/Miniseries and into Drama Series backfired spectacularly. HBO logic followed that by submitting True Detective as a Drama series, The Normal Heart would be able to reap all the Emmy bounty in the Movie/Miniseries category. Unfortunately for HBO, not only did Matthew McConaughey lose the Emmy, but so did every single nominated actor from The Normal Heart: Jim Parsons, Matt Bomer, Joe Mantello, Alfred Molina, Mark Ruffalo, and Julia Roberts. Whoops!
  • No to Weird Al parodies.
  • No to Sofia Vergara objectification.
  • Yes to Billy Crystal tributes: “Robin Williams: What a concept.”
  • Jon Hamm will probably never win an Emmy for Mad Men.
  • Amy Poehler will probably never win an Emmy for Parks and Recreation.
  • If the groundbreaking Orange is the New Black couldn’t stop the Modern Family juggernaut, what can?
  • Billy Eichner and Billy on the Street will always be a goddamned delight.

Advertisements

The 2014 Oscars: Big Night for Lupita Nyong’o & Adele Dazim

Let’s face it. We will always complain about the Academy Awards telecast. The awards ceremony will either be too crass (Seth MacFarlane), too toothless (Billy Crystal), too WTF?! (Anne Hathaway and James Franco), and in this year’s case, too boring. Sorry, Ellen DeGeneres, but this year’s Oscars was a flat and endless flop, save for one funny monologue joke aimed at Jennifer Lawrence and her many stumbles: “If you win tonight, I think we should bring you the Oscar.” As a whole, the winners were predictable, but who would have predicted that the reliable DeGeneres would have brought such a muted, disruptive tone.

Five years now, we’ll remember how Oscar night came down to a race between Gravity and 12 Years a Slave for Best Picture, and everything else will become a boring blur. When we look back to this year, we’ll fail to recall Kim Novak’s awkward appearance with Matthew McConaughey. (Jacqueline Bisset, you’re off the hook!). We’ll overlook the umpteenth salute to The Wizard of Oz (seriously, it feels like there’s one every year). We’ll forget, but not forgive, the endless parade of montages: Animated films! Heroes (guys, guys, Jennifer Lawrence, and more guys)! These old movies! Those old movies! On a classy note: Fortunately, the producers muted all applause for the In Memoriam segment and gave all those featured equal screen time. Unfortunately, Bette Midler flapped. her. wings. at the end of “The Wind Beneath My Wings.”

So what will we remember from these ceremonies? What moments will leave a profound mark in our pop culture memory banks? Probably not much.

The morning after, without a doubt, the biggest meme to come out of the night was John Travolta’s hilariously horrible mispronunciation of Idina Menzel’s name as “ADELE DAZIM.” What the actual f*ck, John Travolta?!

Adele Dazim was the name that launched a dozen fake Twitter accounts. Think of the mishap as this year’s Angelina Jolie Leg from the 2012 Oscars. The mispronunciation unfortunately upstaged Menzel’s show-stopping performance of Frozen‘s Oscar-winning song “Let It Go,” written by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and EGOT winner Robert Lopez. But what followed wasn’t Menzel’s best showing either. Perhaps it was nerves that got the best of Menzel’s stiff physicality, as she and the orchestra fell out of sync, and ended with strained final notes.

Pharell Williams’ soulful performance of Despicable Me 2‘s “Happy” was also memorable, not only for the return of The Grammy Hat, but for the celeb dance-offs, started spontaneously by 12 Years a Slave‘s Lupita Nyong’o. The song delivered a much-needed jolt of energy to the snoozy proceedings. Who knew that all we ever wanted to see was Pharrell bring Nyong’o and Amy Adams to their feet in joyous dance and get Meryl Streep to shimmy? What an infectious performance that perfectly complimented the cool stylings of the #1 song in America.

Oscars_2014_Happy

The theme of this year’s Oscars was “Heroes in Hollywood,” but night came across as “Celebrities Are Just Like UsOnly Better!” They eat pizza! They take selfies! They carry cash on them! DeGeneres’s drawn-out self-involved shtick found her strolling down the aisles of the theater time and time again, casually chatting it up to nervous audience members. These bits could have been organic and fun, but they never took off the ground. Typically, award show hosts disappear mid-way through the night, but DeGeneres simply refused to let the night go undisrupted by her antics, which were more entertaining on paper than they were in execution.

Early in the evening, DeGeneres asked the celebrities if they were hungry and wanted pizza, to which the somehow still-pregnant Kerry Washington cutely raised her hand immediately in support. In a surprising bit of continuity, the delivery guy showed up later with three pizzas and we watched semi-amusingly, as the slices distributed to the likes of Harrison Ford, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Julia Roberts. (But how endearing was it that Brad Pitt was distributing napkins?). Uma. Oprah., meet Pizza.

But nothing came close to the Selfie Seen ‘Round the World.

In a bit of shameless plugging of the Samsung Galaxy Note 3, DeGeneres enlisted the help of Meryl Streep to break the record of most retweets. They were soon joined by Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, and other A-listers. (Don’t wave, Angelina Jolie, this isn’t a Vine!) Again, what could have ended up as cute and spontaneous, ended up feeling forced. At any rate, the selfie beat out President Obama 2012’s victory tweet, with 2 million retweets and counting. So… hooray? Celebrities love themselves and need us to love them back; we get it. Just icky and pandering.

Speaking of celebrity fandom, where was Oscar presenter Andrew Garfield? My favorite celebrity was sadly a no-show. Producer Neil Meron had stated, “Andrew Garfield is going to be part of what we hope is a very moving moment in the show… He is going to induct a new superhero into the fraternity of superheroes.” Instead, we got the “talented Chris Evans.” Yawn. A Garfield appearance wouldn’t have saved the telecast by any means, but it would have been nice to see him.

[UPDATE 3: Phew! So as it turns out, the appearance was confirmed by the Academy to be cut “due to the logistics of production.” In fact, Garfield spent time with Batkid at Disneyland. That’s my Andrew! UPDATE 2: According to Page Six, Garfield “refused to go by the script… He had a tantrum. He stormed off.” Yikes. UPDATE: Andrew Garfield’s appearance was with Batkid! The two even rehearsed together the night before. How could the producers cut out Batkid, of all things?! And there was still time for THREE of Ellen’s pizza bits?! That makes me dislike this year’s Oscars even more.]

To end on a positive note, we will remember the emotional acceptance speeches, from 20 Feet from Stardom‘s Darlene Love basking in her spotlight and singing a line from “His Eye Is on the Sparrow” (Go out and watch 20 Feet, an insightful, stirring look at gender and racial politics in music.), to Dallas Buyers Club‘s Jared Leto sweetly giving tribute to his mother, to Lupita N’yongo’s beautiful and moving words of encouragement:

When I look down at this golden statue, may it remind me and every little child that no matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid.

The night simply belonged to N’yongo. We were witnessing her Hollywood coming-out party, from her exuberant “Happy” dance, to her and her brother goofily taking part in the selfie and pizza payment. Already a red carpet fashion icon, the 12 Years A Slave star blossomed before our eyes. And what a narrative for Hollywood to latch on to: chase your dreams, kids. Play us off, incongruous Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory music!

2014 Golden Globes starring the ***Flawless Fey & Poehler

Compared to the over-indulgent and overly-long Oscar telecast, the Golden Globes are a silly breeze. The awards mean next to nothing and the alcohol is flowing. This year, the Golden Globes were just as ludicrous as ever, marred with technical difficulties, often baffling winners, and ill-prepared speeches.

Luckily, there was a shining beacon to light the way. Simply put, hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were ***Flawless. This dynamic duo knew exactly how to work both the celebrities in attendance at The Beverly Hotel and the audience at home. Their comedic bits were hilariously to the point and their quick-witted zingers were biting, without ever being mean. My two favorite lines of the night:

  • Gravity is nominated for Best Film. It’s the story about how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”
  • “And now, like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Golden_Globes_2014

The absolute highlight of the evening for me was Amy Poehler FINALLY being recognized for her dynamite portrayal of Parks and Recreation‘s Leslie Knope. When her name was read, I literally screamed out loud with joy and shock. It’s hard to believe that Poehler has never won a single award for playing Knope. Harder still to believe: Brooklyn Nine-Nine has won more major awards (one) than Parks and Recreation has (ZERO). Simply ridiculous. But these are the Golden Globes after all, and boy, does the Hollywood Foreign Press Association like its shiny, new shows (see past TV winners Girls, Homeland). Still, the Andy Samberg and Brooklyn Nine-Nine wins were head-scratchers.

My only real gripe about the ceremony was that there wasn’t enough Fey and Poehler to go around. Two-thirds of the way through the evening, it seems as though the two were missing in action. What could we blame for this mismanaged screen time? Look no further than American Horror Story: Path to the Golden Globes Stage. (Spoiler alert: Jessica Lange doesn’t make it out alive. Wah wah. You’ll get ’em next year, J.Lange!)

Golden_Globes_Lange

Seemingly every winner was seated miles from the stage, so we spent more precious moments watching celebrities awkwardly navigate a labyrinth of tables than we actually did on their speeches. While the censor bleeping out curse words was asleep at the wheel (we most definitely heard Jacqueline Bisset say “shit”), the orchestra was on the ready to cut off any and all nervous and rambly winners (but not U2, frustratingly).

But what was most peculiar, was that while some speeches feel rushed (Amy Adams will not let you play off her talking about her daughter, dammit!), others were excruciatingly long and endless. So thanks for making the entire evening behind schedule, Jacqueline Bisset. There’s fun celeb loopy, and then there’s “oh God… This is really happening” loopy. Her incoherent acceptance speech was not the former.

On the TV side, kudos to Behind the Candelabra, an opulent and bitter kaleidoscope of a film, anchored by a mesmerizing performance from Michael Douglas as Liberace. A huge WTF goes to Jon Voigt for Best Supporting Actor over the heartbreaking Aaron Paul for Breaking Bad and the transformative Rob Lowe for Behind the Candelabra. The HFPA loves its movie stars… ugh. I was also rooting for Tatiana Maslany as Best Actress in a Drama, even though I don’t watch Orphan Black. And real talk, Hayden Panettiere deserved the award for Best Supporting Actress for her stunningly multi-faceted work on Nashville. She’s the heart of that show. It’s not easy to play someone who fails so spectacularly, while shrouding a lonely soul with catty glitz and glamour.

As for the film awards, I was most thrilled about Spike Jonze for Best Screenplay for Her, who crafted a magnificent film that made my whole body feel. His dizzying musings on the nature of love threw me for a loop in the best ways possible. And I’m bracing myself for the eventual Jennifer Lawrence backlash. Fingers crossed that we as a nation will never reach that point. Just keep on charmin’ your way through the hearts of everyone, J.Lawr!

As Tina Fey joked in the opening monologue: “This is Hollywood, and if something kinda works, they’ll just keep doing it until everybody hates it!” Luckily, we still have the 2015 Golden Globes to look forward to, and with Fey and Poehler at the helm, it’s a guarantee that no one will hate it.

Finally, a special shout-out goes to my favorite pop culture maven, Billy Eichner (@billyeichner), who had my favorite live-tweets from the evening. Here are just two of his winners:

My Knee-jerk 2012 Emmy Nominee Reactions!

The 2012 Emmy nominations were announced this morning, by Scandal‘s Kerry Washington and Jimmy Kimmel, filling in Parks and Recreation‘s Nick Offerman (an egregious snub if there ever was one!). Unsurprisingly, Mad Men took with 17 nominations, while very much surprisingly, American Horror Story did the same. Oh, how shrewd of you, FX, submitting AHS as a mini-series. Downton Abbey joined the ranks of outstanding drama series this year, after being submitted as a mini-series last year, and it feels like every single cast member walked away with a nomination. Ditto for the cast of Modern Family.

In the world of drama, all outstanding drama nominees are deserving of praise (Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, Homeland, Mad Men), but I’d expect Mad Men to win yet again. I’m personally rooting for Breaking Bad. I’m especially thrilled to see Anna Gunn finally receive recognition for her role as Skylar White as well as the brilliantly nuanced Mark Margolis who played Tio Salamanca. DING! DING! DING!

On the comedy front, the Emmy nominations for outstanding writing for a comedy series should have been also been for outstanding comedy series: Parks and Recreation, Community, Louie, and Girls (the only one of these four series to be nominated for series). These four series, ladies and gentlemen, are the four best comedies on television. But granted, this is no small consolation prize. Writing for comedy is HARD. And all hail Louis C.K. and Lena Dunham! While Louie failed to score a nod for comedy series, Louis C.K. broke the record for the most nominations for an individual (acting, directing, writing for Louie and four noms for “Louis C.K. Live At the Beacon Theatre.”). I’m beyond thrilled that Girls and Dunham (nominated for writing, directing, acting, and producing) were able to surpass any initial viewer polarization and garnered exemplary recognition for its brave and groundbreaking first season.

In reality land, Jeff Probst was not nominated for outstanding reality television host this year, the only person to ever to win the award since its creation four years ago. What a shocker! But surprise! Inexplicably it’s the unstoppable Betty White who was nominated for hosting Betty White’s Off Your Rockers and knocked down the reigning host champ. Ridiculous. THAT MEANS THAT THIS IS YOUR YEAR, CAT DEELEY! Even my own mother has lamented how you have yet to win this award. Elsewhere on the reality front, The Voice bumped out American Idol, but we all know that the increasingly stale The Amazing Race will walk away with yet another win. YAWN.

A couple more stray thoughts: Kudos to the late, great Kathryn Joosten for Desperate Housewives. And will you look at how the mighty have deservedly fallen?! There were only three nominations for Glee (makeup, cinematography, and the stalwart Dot-Marie Jones for guest actress), and a whopping zero nominations for The Office. Also, if Missing was able to be submitted as a mini-series, after effectively being canceled this summer after one season, then why not the genius that is Awake?!

Lastly, THIS:

Oscarzzz 2012: Where were the surprises?!

"Dean your heart out, Angie!"

The Oscars, as with any other self-congratulating awards ceremony, will always be a tedious affair, no matter the host and no matter the nominated films. Then why do millions tune in? For the thrill and excitement that stem from spontaneity and surprise. Unfortunately, the 84th Annual Academy Awards were a boring, lifeless mess that lacked that crucial element of surprise and failed to conjure many memorable moments.

What will we remember most from this year’s Oscars? Sadly and hilariously, it will most likely be Angelina Jolie’s Right Leg, as mimicked by Oscar-winning screenwriter of The Descendants, Jim Rash (aka Dean Pelton, my favorite character on Community).

Much of the night’s suspense was already voided before the nominees entered the Chapter 11 Theater, thanks to The Artist’s inevitable and pre-determined march to Best Picture victory. Without a tangible narrative in the Best Picture category, or any of the other categories for that matter, spontaneity was especially needed on Oscar night. There was no David (The Hurt Locker) vs. Goliath (Avatar) story to root for; No ambitious, daring, zeitgeist of a film (The Social Network) vs. a safe and emotionally manipulative period piece (The King’s Speech). [Oops! Still bitter about that one…]

With Billy Crystal returning to host for his ninth time, the Academy chose tried and true (read: boring) over risk-taking. The ceremonies yawned its way out of the gates with a been there, done that host-in-various-films montage and never recovered. “Really, Billy Crystal!?! Blackface for a Sammy Davis Jr. impression from the 1980s AND a Men’s Warehouse joke!?! REALLY!?!” harped my inner Seth Meyers. As awful as the man is as a person, one can’t help but imagine what Brett Ratner (and host Eddie Murphy) might have brought to the proceedings.

The one real surprise of the night came from Meryl Streep taking home the Best Actress Oscar over Viola Davis. To be sure, Meryl Streep brought a refreshing and much-needed buoyancy to the proceedings, but let’s just read that sentence one more time: The one surprise of the evening was that the supremely talented Meryl Streep won an award. For acting. SURPRISE!

The theme of Oscar night, “Aren’t movies magical!?!” or whatever, was a misguided and surprise-less effort. We were hit over the head again and again with sweeping notions of nostalgia: “Weren’t movies just the bees knees when you were growing up!?! Let’s all remember movies from years past, when movies resonated with both the Academy and the American public at large!” These heavy-handed reaches for past glory read more as a desperate plea to help sagging box office revenues, urging viewers to watch movies in theaters, than anything else. Montage after tedious montage of past films and actors waxing nostalgic about past films were simply either nonsensical or unnecessary. They took away from the films of the present (isn’t that what they’re supposed to celebrate?), and robbed precious screen time from true memorable moments like Octavia Spencer’s emotional and heartfelt acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actress.

The real winners of this year’s Oscars were James Franco and Anne Hathaway. At least Franco and Hathaway gave us oddly fascinating and colorful train wrecks last year, and not inoffensively bland ones from Billy Crystal and Academy Award producer Brian Grazer.

On the bright side, the 2012 ceremonies were the shortest in over 30 years. But of course, the dull night suffered from uneven pacing and could be summed up by the Oscar-winning film editors, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo‘s Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall: the two speechless winners petered out at the end of their acceptance speech, mumbling, “let’s get out of here…” We’re right there with you guys.

Here’s to the cinematic surprises of 2012!